Posted by Cindy on March 26, 2008
I found the following quote on the Formation of a Habit page at www.charlottemason.com.
“Charlotte Mason taught us that when you find yourself always telling (your children) to do the same thing, you have not trained them in the habits you wish they would perform.”
Boy, do I find this to be true. And before I give myself an anxiety attack thinking about all the things I say over and over again daily, I think I’ll try to focus on an area where I believe I’ve done a fairly good job of habit training – daily chores.
On *most* days, you will find my children’s bed made, dirty clothes in the laundry, clean clothes put away, teeth brushed and fresh clothes on before they come down to breakfast. After breakfast, they will *usually* go about their other assigned chores without much prompting. Has it always been this way? Ha!
There were days when I felt like all I did was fuss and nag, only to walk into their bedrooms and see the bed still unmade, clean and dirty clothes mingled together in the floor, with the rest of the house in the same general condition. My children were living as pigs. I whined and complained, but in the end, I was the one allowing the little piggies to exsist.
So, a system was set in place. Really, it only took me about a week of being actively involved in making sure the jobs were done appropriately. Chores of some sort have been a part of their lives from very early, so the new system didn’t take long to “get”. What’s the system?
I’ve told you before how pleased I am with Motivated Moms. Since no two weeks are exactly the same, I couldn’t just create a basic checklist for the kids that I either copied every week or laminated as I have in the past. I guess I could have, but then I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the Motivated Moms plan very easily.
So, I write out a chore list at the beginning of the week for each child. I no longer write out the everyday chores like “make your bed”, “brush your teeth” because those are now a wonderful habit! Before they were habits, though, I kept these things on the checklists.
I look at the Motivated Moms list for the week and decide what I want my children to do from the list for the week. These become their after breakfast chores. I quickly write out a weekly chart for Mahayla because she is able to keep up with the chart and likes knowing the “plan” for her week. (The charts were in color. I’m not sure why they scanned in black and white.)
For Caleb, I write each day’s chores on a small piece of paper. If it’s small, he thinks the chores are fewer. 
Also, he likes being able to pitch his list when it’s done. A weekly chart overwhelms him. Sometimes I’ll type out his week and cut each day off as a little slip for him – like I’ll do with this list.
So, they automatically know the daily chores to accomplish and never rarely give me grief about the after breakfast chores. This habit makes for a cleaner house and a happier family.
Now, I’m off to make a long list of the other habits we need to tackle. One habit at a time…….
Posted by Cindy on October 11, 2007
A good friend emailed me awhile back with a question about staying focused and getting it all done during times when life has to be hectic. I’m finding myself in one of those times right now. I thought I might remind myself of the answer I gave and share with you at the same time.
Her question:
What do you do personally to renew yourself when the schedule outside of school gets hectic? You know – when things are beyond your control like funerals, sickness in the family, elderly people needing help — situations you find yourself involved in at a time when the personal bank of energy and patience are low.
My answer:
I’ve been thinking on your question today and chuckled out loud a few times as I thought, “Who in the world am I to answer such a question??!!” I’m totally overwhelmed and feel like my life is spinning out of control right now. I’m chalking up my craziness as a “season” of life and trying to remember that life will become normal again. Anyway, I’ll give my best answer….
You know what I’m gonna say – - when outside things start pressing, we have to be able to say “no”. Easier said than done, I know. Your family won’t appreciate a “no”. Your church won’t like hearing “no”. Your friends might not even care to hear the word.
I used to try to be at every funeral, fix a dish for every funeral dinner, work to help serve the funeral meal, send a card to the grieving family….You get the point. Multiply that by sick people, the elderly, church ministries, friends, family, birthday parties, church parties, co-op classes, co-op food……I was getting to the point where my own family was getting pushed into the background. Then I read a book called Having a Mary in a Martha World and it really opened my eyes. I have two responsibilities that I know are God-given – my husband and my children. God may call me to other things as well, but He hasn’t called me to everything.
Long story short, I quit everything I could at church. I stopped offering to be the person to “ask if you need anything.” And I learned to say no to just about anyone who asked.
Now, if I choose to fix a meal for someone, I usually go in with one or two others to take the load off. I very rarely agree to any long term ministry “opportunities” at church. I try to send cards to people, but don’t get around to visit much. I bring chips to co-op rather than a five course meal. I help at the funeral meal only if everything else is in order.
I’m far from having all this figured out. I feel guilty about how much more service I should be doing. I feel guilty for not meeting everyone’s needs. But like I mentioned earlier about the season of life I’m in right now, I know there will come other seasons when serving people outside my family will be easier.
When I do have to do certain things, though, I always try to involve the kids. Serving others is a wonderful addition to the curriculum! At least those times when other need us can be shared with our kids!!
Well, that’s my two cents. I’m an utter failure at meeting anyone’s needs (except Eli’s) right now, so take my words with a grain of salt. As for the idea of renewal….hmmm….I don’t think I know what that word means. Maybe if I had one single solitary minute to myself, I might be able to breathe. That could be renewing. Or exercise. Or send my kids away for a weekend. Or send myself away for a weekend. Or get a massage. Okay, back to reality. I ain’t goin’ anywhere until this kid stops nursing! Do you think he’ll ween himself by sixteen??
