Posted by Cindy on February 18, 2008
Ha! I actually think it’s ironic that the theme for the newest edition of the CM Carnival is “Mother Culture” – otherwise known as taking care of momma. You see, I’m not doing a very good job of that right now. Maybe it’s having a toddler who isn’t a good sleeper day or night. Maybe it’s too many responsibilities outside of homeschooling. Maybe it’s having a husband who works hard (aka – me not having much free time.) Maybe it’s too much “Martha” and not enough “Mary”. Whatever the reason, I almost didn’t write an article for the carnival because I thought I needed to hear more than I needed to speak.
But, then I remembered the gals at my co-op who are struggling right now with feelings of being overwhelmed. I never want to pretend that just because I’m a ‘seasoned’ homeschooler, it doesn’t mean that all my days are bright and bubbly. On the contrary, almost every year about this time in fact! So, I’ve decided to write this article as a little note to myself that I need to carve out time for me (and attempt to come up with a plan as I write.) And to give myself the same advice I’ve been giving everyone else - the winter blah’s have hit, but spring renewal is just around the corner!
I need time to myself. I believe I always have. A busily nursing baby for over a year now has cramped my style as far as time alone goes. But, it’s time to reclaim some moments for me. Boy, do I feel selfish saying that! It’s a shame how the devil uses guilt to keep us tired and frustrated. However, it’s much more a shame that we allow him to make us feel guilty!
First step – I am going to start exercising again. Denise Austin and I used to visit with each other every morning on the Lifetime channel. Thirty minutes with just the two of us bebopping around my living room is really all I typically need to improve my spirit, my energy level, my health and my productivity rate. Why, oh why is it so hard to start exercising again when you’ve been away a while?
Second step – It’s time to start asking for help. I’ve fretted long enough that Eli can’t be left with others for a long period of time (hey, I’m only talking a few hours!) He will not starve if he goes a few hours without nursing. 
So, family and friends reading this, you better not pretend you aren’t home when your caller i.d. shows my number. What will I do during these few hours to refresh my soul? As sad as it sounds, I might simply go to the grocery store alone! Okay, we’re talking about taking care of “mother culture”. Does browsing antique shops count? How about taking a lonely walk through the park? I love to browse at the library, too. It’s been a long time, but remembering what I like to do is quickly coming back to me!
Third step – I must give some things up, or at least set limits. Everything I do is “good” – it helps someone or teaches someone or makes people smile. But, pretty much everything I do is for others, and all those things are taking up too much space on my calendar and too much space in my brain. In high school I was voted “Most Dependable” – to my joy then, but I think my detriment now. I’m the person people come to for helping with this or that and in the past I had trouble saying no. I’ve gotten much better at using the ‘no’ word, but all the appointments, to-do’s and exciting opportunities are overtaking me again. If I’m always busy doing everyone else’s tasks, or even just taking my children hither to and yonder all the time, I will never be able to carve out time to refresh my spirit.
Fourth step – and the most important – I gotta turn all these decisions over to God more than I do. He knows my frustrations. He knows my needs. He will provide perfectly for me if I allow Him to. What’s the saying – I turn my problems over to Him, only to take them right back. Why don’t we trust Him more? For me, a schedule that’s too busy and not taking time for myself keeps me at just a far enough distance from Him that I’m too far to pass the burdens on. Ouch, that even hurt to type.
So there you have it. An article that shares way more of my struggles than I like to write about, and my attempt at figuring out how to nourish my “mother culture”. I’m rather sure I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
Here is a list for Overcoming Homeschool Burnout that goes along with the winter blah’s I mentioned earlier.
Spring is only one month away!!
Posted by Cindy on January 17, 2008
Yep, the season for burnout is upon us. Better days are ahead for those who hang in there. I’m hoping this is one blog you can disregard because everything is joyful and sweet in your homeschool. If not, I hope some of these ideas will perk up your blahs.
Symptoms of Burnout
fatigue
impatience
lack of motivation
overeating
feel like a failure
crying for no apparent reason
hard to muster enthusiasm about school
many chores/jobs being left undone
feel pressure that children are being left behind
Overcoming Burnout
Pray!
Be in the Word daily
Get plenty of rest – mom & children
Get plenty of exercise – mom & children
Eat well & drink plenty – mom & children
Don’t allow too much free time
Don’t become a curriculum slave
Take time to be alone
Designate a place for school “stuff” so you have a visual and mental break from school
Don’t compare yourself or your school with others
Allow input from your children
Set realistic goals
Take “fun day” breaks
Communicate expectations with children
Take frequent breaks during the day
Vary the teaching and learning techniques
Don’t be a perfectionist
Be flexible
Ask hubby for support
Talk to a veteran homeschooler
Don’t overschedule
Organize yourself
Be part of a support group!
Well, I’m off for the weekend. We’re headed to Bowling Green for a trip to Mammoth Cave Friday and then the CHEK Leadership Convention Saturday. I’m doing a workshop at the convention and certainly would appreciate your prayers! Anyway, I wanted to leave you with some encouragement since I won’t be posting for a few days. Have a great end to your week!
Posted by Cindy on November 20, 2007
Well, it happened. We’ve been working towards this for a while now. We had a really bad homeschooling day. You know, one of those days Todd “The Familyman” Wilson describes in his cartoon book. The husband comes home from work to find mom missing in action. After several minutes of searching, he finds her locked in a dark closet in the fetal position! I guess our day wasn’t that bad, but it was close.
I’m convinced that people (including children) who are immeasurably blessed, take their blessings for granted. To not know what it’s like “on the other side of the fence” seems to blind you to how wonderful your side of the fence really is. My children have never known sitting for hours on end in a public school. They’ve never known sitting for hours on end in front of a dvd teacher. They’ve never even known sitting in front of textbook after textbook on a daily basis.
They have no idea what a cool mom I really am. I don’t say that in a boastful way! What I mean is that they have no idea how exciting and wonderful their days really are. They don’t know that not every child gets to do experiments, lapbooks, field trips, nature walks, cooking and art. They don’t realize that not every child gets to sit wherever they want to do their work. They don’t realize that not every child gets to take the day off on an unusually beautiful day in the middle of winter. They don’t realize that not every child is free to spend the afternoon grooming and riding horses. Believe you me, I tell them how blessed they are. Sadly, they just don’t get it.
I’m not down for the count – just frustrated. I’m not giving up on them either. I know they’ll begin to understand their blessings as the get older. I’m just so tired of the whining and complaining. I wish there were a way to help them to see – really see – how wonderful their life is.
We seem to go through a season such as this every year about this time. The holidays are coming. It’s time for a school break. Yesterday was the feast at co-op. It’s always hard to lasso my kids back into schoolwork after a special day like yesterday. Top that off with all the junk food they ate and I know why today has been “one of those days.”
After my, ahem, “mommy tantrum”, I went to my room to fold about seven loads of laundry that have been piling up. I heard a lot of ruckus in the kitchen, then complete quiet for about 20 minutes. Soft footsteps came to the door, then a little knock. The door opened a crack and through the crack came a folded peice of paper. That 20 minutes of quiet had been spent writing an apology note. They gave me great big hugs and led me downstairs to a wonderfully cleaned kitchen. Yes, there’s hope for them yet! I suppose there’s hope for me, too.
Posted by Cindy on October 11, 2007
A good friend emailed me awhile back with a question about staying focused and getting it all done during times when life has to be hectic. I’m finding myself in one of those times right now. I thought I might remind myself of the answer I gave and share with you at the same time.
Her question:
What do you do personally to renew yourself when the schedule outside of school gets hectic? You know – when things are beyond your control like funerals, sickness in the family, elderly people needing help — situations you find yourself involved in at a time when the personal bank of energy and patience are low.
My answer:
I’ve been thinking on your question today and chuckled out loud a few times as I thought, “Who in the world am I to answer such a question??!!” I’m totally overwhelmed and feel like my life is spinning out of control right now. I’m chalking up my craziness as a “season” of life and trying to remember that life will become normal again. Anyway, I’ll give my best answer….
You know what I’m gonna say – - when outside things start pressing, we have to be able to say “no”. Easier said than done, I know. Your family won’t appreciate a “no”. Your church won’t like hearing “no”. Your friends might not even care to hear the word.
I used to try to be at every funeral, fix a dish for every funeral dinner, work to help serve the funeral meal, send a card to the grieving family….You get the point. Multiply that by sick people, the elderly, church ministries, friends, family, birthday parties, church parties, co-op classes, co-op food……I was getting to the point where my own family was getting pushed into the background. Then I read a book called Having a Mary in a Martha World and it really opened my eyes. I have two responsibilities that I know are God-given – my husband and my children. God may call me to other things as well, but He hasn’t called me to everything.
Long story short, I quit everything I could at church. I stopped offering to be the person to “ask if you need anything.” And I learned to say no to just about anyone who asked. 
Now, if I choose to fix a meal for someone, I usually go in with one or two others to take the load off. I very rarely agree to any long term ministry “opportunities” at church. I try to send cards to people, but don’t get around to visit much. I bring chips to co-op rather than a five course meal. I help at the funeral meal only if everything else is in order.
I’m far from having all this figured out. I feel guilty about how much more service I should be doing. I feel guilty for not meeting everyone’s needs. But like I mentioned earlier about the season of life I’m in right now, I know there will come other seasons when serving people outside my family will be easier.
When I do have to do certain things, though, I always try to involve the kids. Serving others is a wonderful addition to the curriculum! At least those times when other need us can be shared with our kids!!
Well, that’s my two cents. I’m an utter failure at meeting anyone’s needs (except Eli’s) right now, so take my words with a grain of salt. As for the idea of renewal….hmmm….I don’t think I know what that word means. Maybe if I had one single solitary minute to myself, I might be able to breathe. That could be renewing. Or exercise. Or send my kids away for a weekend. Or send myself away for a weekend. Or get a massage. Okay, back to reality. I ain’t goin’ anywhere until this kid stops nursing! Do you think he’ll ween himself by sixteen??
Posted by Cindy on October 9, 2007
*Note: I fixed the video link.
Animal School
by George Reavis
Once upon a time the animals had a school. They had four subjects ~ running, climbing, flying, and swimming ~ and all animals took all subjects.
The duck was good at swimming, better than the teacher, in fact. He made passing grades in running and flying, but he was almost hopeless in climbing. So they made him drop swimming to practice more climbing. Soon he was only average in swimming. But average is okay, and nobody worried much about it ~ except the duck.
The eagle was considered a troublemaker. In his climbing class he beat everybody to the top of the tree, but he had his own way of getting there, which was against the rules. He always had to stay after school and write, “Cheating is wrong” five hundred times. This kept him from soaring, which he loved. But schoolwork comes first.
The bear flunked because they said he was lazy, especially in winter. His best time was summer, but school wasn’t open then.
The penguin never went to school because he couldn’t leave home, and they wouldn’t start a school out where he lived.
The zebra played hooky ~ a lot. The ponies made fun of his stripes, and this made him very sad.
The kangaroo started out at the top of the running class, but got discouraged trying to run on all fours like the other kids.
The fish quit school because he was bored. To him all four subjects were the same, but nobody understood that. They had never been a fish.
The squirrel got A’s in climbing, but his flying teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. His legs got so sore practicing take-offs that he began getting C’s and D’s in running.
But the bee was the biggest problem of all, so the teacher sent him to Dr. Owl for testing. Dr. Owl said that the bee’s wings were just too small for flying and besides they were in the wrong place. But the bee never saw Dr. Owl’s report, so he just went ahead and flew anyway.
A question I hear quite often is, “Am I really qualified? Am I going to ruin my children by schooling them at home?”
This is the topic of a devotion I gave in the Mom’s Room at co-op this week. I’ve tried to write my notes from the devotion here. I hope you are encouraged.
Am I Qualified?
So many times in His Word, God gives us not only all the answers we need in order to homeschool, but the mandate that we are to teach our children. Two of the most familiar passages are Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – and Deuteronomy 6:5-9 – “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
When God calls us to something, He will qualify us! At that answer, I could end the devotion. God called us to it, He equips us, therefore, we’re qualified! But, I want to answer more thoroughly why and how we’re qualified.
Go back to the Animal School story above. Who knows your children best? Who can instinctively know what’s best for them? Who loves them as much as you do? Who did God give them to? Knowing that “Mom and Dad” are the answers to each of those questions is further proof that YOU are qualified to teach them. No one else knows them well enough to know what’s best for them. For them particularly. No one on this earth loves them like you do. No one. God gave them to you. You. You are the one who can make their education a perfect fit. Not because you have a college degree in education or have loads of money to buy the best curriculum, but because God has already given you everything you need to teach the children He gave you.
If you’ve never watched the YouTube.com video called Home Where They Belong, I would encourage you to take a few minutes right now. It’s a strong visual to get this point across.
You know the news headlines. Christianity is being forced out of the public school system, only to be replaced with a religion of tolerance, evolution, relativism and worse. Even Christian teachers in the public school system are forced to teach things that go against the Lord’s teaching. At best, they can subtly mention God as long as other religious views are being expressed at the same time. These facts alone qualify you to teach your children. Jeremiah 10:2 says, “Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.”
You have been given unique gifts in your children. God has commanded that you teach them. And, He has supplied you with all you need to do this successfully. Homeschooling isn’t always easy. It isn’t always fun. But the rewards are great and the impact is eternal.
Go to the Word when you’re frustrated. Go to your husband. Go to an experienced and well-rooted friend. Please don’t meet the yellow school bus at the end of the driveway.
Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. Isaiah 54:13
