Posted by Cindy on March 14, 2008
This is a devotion I had the pleasure of giving at co-op this week.
Living as Children of the Light Leads Children to the Light
Read Ephesians 4: 17-32, 5:1-33
This passage gives us a very clear picture of living in the light vs. living in darkness.
Light being things like:
Truthfulness
Peace
Honesty
Wholesome talk that only builds others up, words of thanksgiving
Kindness
Compassion
Forgiveness
Purity
Sobriety
Submission to husbands
Whereas darkness would be the complete opposite:
Lying
Arguments, anger, resentment
Stealing
Words that tear down, yelling, coarse jokes, obscenity (or even obscenity that “walks the line” – poopy head, stupid – always ask, does this word build anyone up?)
Slander, brushing people off, refusing to help when there is a need
Thinking only of selfish things, turning a blind eye toward a need, greed
Not forgiving, bringing up past grievances, becoming bitter
Lust, adultery, even feasting upon sexual shows, music or books. Impurity would also include media with coarse language, disrespectful actions, anything that promotes “darkness”
Drunkenness
Being disrespectful to your husband, not allowing him to take the lead in your family, defying him, going behind his back to do something, talking ugly about him to your children
How do our children learn? Does it come from the words we speak to them? Sure. Does it come from the books we give them. Yes. Does it come from the discipline we hand down? Yes.
God tells us more than once in this passage things like:
“no longer live as the Gentiles do”
“put off your old self”
“be imitators of God”
“live a life of love”
“now you ARE light in the Lord. LIVE as children of the light.”
“be very careful, then, how you live”
“make the most of every opportunity”
All of these things involve LIVING our daily life in Him. From what do our children learn most? Our actions. How we live daily. How we talk when we aren’t teaching, disciplining or lecturing. How we treat others. How we treat our husbands. They soak in more of US than we probably will ever realize. So, “US” – how we live daily – needs to be full of light if we expect our children to learn to walk in that light.
Have there ever been times you’ve watched your child act a certain way or say something that you’ve been horrified about – only to think back that what they did came directly from you? That’s one of the scariest things I find to being a parent. I know I have lots of growing to do in my walk, yet I desire that my children won’t struggle with the same sins I struggle with.
What to do? First and foremost, turn your children over to God. Pray for them to walk in the light daily. Turn yourself over to God. Pray that you will be a good example daily. Recognize your sins and ask forgiveness from your children, as well as God. When children grow up learning that you aren’t perfect and that you see the sin in your life, they are more likely to learn to see the sin in their life for what it is. When they see you actively trying “to put off the old self” and hear you talking to God about it, they are more likely to go to Him with their struggles. And the closer you get to stepping completely out of the darkness, I believe the fewer sins of darkness your children will have to deal with. For what do they imitate? You. If you live in the light, they most likely will, too.
Posted by Cindy on January 23, 2008
I read a blog post last week that really touched me. Under His Construction wrote about talking to others about our children – “venting” about the struggles of our children to others. I had the opportunity to present the devotion at co-op this week and the Lord very clearly put this topic on my mind. Here are notes from the devotion.
Leviticus 19:16
Do not go about spreading slander among your people.
Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the LORD.
Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
1 Timothy 3:11
Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.
Proverbs 16:28
A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends.
Proverbs 17:9
He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.
Proverbs 18:8
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
Leviticus 19:16
Thou shall not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people:
2 Thessalonians 3:11
For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies.
1) We are clearly warned against gossip/slander/talebearing. Usually, we tend to think about this in terms of talking about friends or acquaintances. We might even consider that we shouldn’t speak about our husbands poorly. But, how often do we put this in terms of speaking about our own children?
2) How many times have we found ourselves “venting” about our children to others? How many times have we “asked advice” about a particular problem with our child to anyone who will listen? How many times have we told a tale about them in front of others, only to see their mortified face afterward? How many times have we been so frustrated that we let spill out our frustrations on the phone to a friend, only to have them listening in the other room?
3) I truly believe there’s a difference in asking advice from a “mentor” about an issue with a child and just openly complaining about the child. I believe there needs to be one or two close friends or “older women” that you can go to when you need godly counsel. But beyond those couple of people, spilling our child’s struggles to anyone who will listen can only be classified in my mind as gossip about our children. Even still, I believe what we share with close friends or mentors needs to be guarded carefully. Carefully in the way that we are really seeking counsel and not just venting, and careful in the way that we don’t speak about our children so that they can hear us.
4) When thinking about close friends or mentors, I feel like it’s very important to really know the person with whom we’re talking. Will they possibly continue the gossip? Will they give us godly advice and not just help us to continue the cycle of complaining?
5) What we expect from our children is most often what our children live up to. Our expectations are not always spoken to them. Unspoken expectations are read from things like our attitudes, facial expressions and what they overhear us saying about them. When we talk about them to others, what they hear from our mouths becomes a form of the “expectation” they relate to themselves. Even if they don’t hear us talking about them, children most often know that we have been. Don’t be fooled into thinking that they don’t know what we’ve said – even little bitty ones.
6) And what happens when they overhear us talking about them? Besides the expectation they start to internalize, what else happens? Bitterness, anger, dejection, hurt feelings, thoughts that they can’t possibly be good enough, thoughts that they are causing all the strife in our houses, withdrawl, sibling rivalry….????
7) Go back and reread 2 Thess 3:11. When we talk, talk, talk – even in the name of “I’m getting advice from a mentor” often gets us nowhere. Actually getting to work on the “issues” we have with our children is what will really make a difference.
So, what to do? Practice building our children up to others. Not only will it reap positive results if our children overhear us, but it’s likely to paint a better picture in our own minds of our children. The problems may no longer seem so bad. Ken Ham always says how you see things depends on the glasses you’re wearing. This holds true with our children as well. Looking at them from dark and negative glasses will hide all their wonderful qualities and keep us focused on the bad that needs to be fixed. Putting on positive glasses will help us to focus on their good qualities, in turn, the bad qualities are likely to be pushed out as the good qualities keep growing.
May you be blessed as you strive to uplift your children and train them to wholeheartedly follow their God and Savior. May we always be mindful of the nudging and teaching of our Lord as He shows us the way in His Word.
Posted by Cindy on December 4, 2007
I saw this while visiting Michele’s blog. It was too good not to share!
Love - 1 Corinthians 13 Style
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights,
and shiny glass balls but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals,
and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way.
Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.
Author Unknown
