Welcome to Day 1 of my series 10 Days of Teaching Values!
Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be taking part in the Heart of the Matter’s 10 Days of… Blog Hop. My posts will focus on creative ways to teach values (or character training) to your children. My prayer is that you and I will both be inspired (or re-inspired) to train our precious children in the way they should go with methods that reach deep to encourage and motivate their souls.
I hope you’ll stop in every day over the next two weeks (weekdays only) to not only get fresh ideas, but to encourage me with your comments and fresh ideas as well.
First, just in case you’re new to my blog, I’ll take just a minute to introduce myself. I’m Cindy West, wife to Steve and mom to Mahayla (14), Caleb (11) and Eli (4). We live on a cattle farm in Central KY which is an awesome setting for tons of homeschooling opportunities and rambunctious students! I own Shining Dawn Books where you can find my NaturExplorers studies and other “living” curricula. I love encouraging homeschooling moms to embrace every moment with their children by making their time together meaningful and enjoyable.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
The Fruit of the Spirit is our “go-to” list of virtues as Christians. We should strive to exuded each of these traits in everything we do! Do we mess up? Sure! That’s part of the learning process – and thank God for His sweet mercy day in and day out as we fail!
One tried and true method I’ve used with each of my three children to help them understand and begin to display these values is a Fruit of the Spirit tree. As early as the age of three or four, whenever I notice that the “fruits” need a little, ahem, fine tuning around the house, we stick a branch in a jar and have great fun catching each other being kind, peaceful, gentle and so on.
Beforehand, I’ve prepared little fruits tied to strings that get hung on the branches when someone has been caught. There’s never a competition between kids to see who can gather the most fruit, but instead it’s a cooperative effort to see the good in one another, be good to one another and watch our family tree hang heavy with fruits as a result.
When one child needs a little more encouragement (like the four year old recently), the tree will be all about him. In this instance, as often as we were able, we made a big deal about the values he was displaying and let him put his fruits on the tree. At the end of the day, we counted the fruits together. His goal the next day was to see if he could gather even more fruits than the day before. After about a week, he had begun a pleasant habit which replaced a not-so-pleasant habit and we not longer needed the tree.
Old or young, every time I’ve pulled out the Fruit of the Spirit tree in our home, positive character has resulted. It’s so easy, too!
How to Make:
Place a tree-shaped stick in a jar/bucket of beans/rice/rocks.
Cut out fruit shapes from construction paper, card stock, foam sheets or anything else you like. (The fruit shapes in my photo were prepared shapes I found several years ago at a dollar store.)
Punch a hole at the top of each fruit and loop a ribbon, yarn or string through it to become a hanger.
For very young children, I don’t write anything on the fruits. We simply talk about each value as its displayed and the child hangs any fruit of his choosing. For young readers, write one value on each of the fruits so that you have at least one per Fruit of the Spirit. When a particular value is displayed, they find the correct fruit to hang on the tree. For older children, place a list of the Fruits of the Spirit near the tree along with the blank fruits and a marker to create their own as a fruit is displayed.
That’s it! What are you waiting for? You could have new, wonderful habits started tomorrow!
While not necessary, I know many of you like to find fun extras to reinforce your lessons, or actual lessons to help you specifically teach the Fruits of the Spirit. I have included some of both in the widget below for your convenience.
Be sure to visit these wonderful ladies during our 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th!
Welcome to Day 2 of my Heart of the Matter 10 Days of… series on Teaching Values in your homeschool!
Today I’m writing about one of my very favorite topics – living literature! There are SO many ways you can use literature to encourage good values in your children – and teach about the consequences of poor values as played out in the lives of book characters. Whether you’re teaching preschoolers or high school students, living literature is a gold mine for values training.
Yesterday, I mentioned the Fruits of the Spirit as defined in Galatians 5:22-23 as our “go-to” list of values for training our children. And, while that is certainly the list I focus on most in my home, there are plenty of other values which are important to instill in our children – gratefulness, truthfulness, hospitality, thriftiness, punctuality, attentiveness and many more.
You can find a wonderful list of virtues along with an amazing set of Bible and teaching ideas for each virtue at Home Life Ministries. Don’t miss this website! Also, while I’m not entirely sure of the content of The Virtues Project website, they have three printable posters of virtues you might be interested in.
Considering all the possible values to reinforce, it would be nearly impossible for me or anyone else to give you a comprehensive list of the best books to use for each and every value. While some websites and books set out to get you started on the practice of using literature for character training (see below), my intent is to show you how I take just about any book we read and use it for at least some character training.
A Sample Lesson
Let’s use just any ol’ non-secular book you might find at the library…The Three Little Pigs. You know the story, right? After reading the story with my children (if I was intending to use it as for part of a values lesson and not just sweet reading time), I would start asking open ended questions. Typically, I would only focus on one topic per book per day. In other words, I wouldn’t try to cover every single character flaw at one time.
Two possible character discussions:
Topic/character flaw = being mean
What do you think about the wolf? Why do you think he was called the ‘Big Bad Wolf’? I wonder what prompted the wolf to be so mean? You think he was just hungry? Okay, what could the pigs have done to help him? When people are mean, should we try to help them? What if they don’t want to be helped by us? Is there ever a time when we should run away from people instead of helping them? (Stranger talk!)
Topic/character flaw = laziness
Tell me what you think about each of the houses that the pigs made. Whose house stood strong against the wolf? Why? What did the other two pigs want to do rather than build strong houses? Do you think they were prepared for the troubles that came their way? What other troubles might they not have been prepared for? What does God tell us about being lazy in the Bible? Is there a time to play and relax?
There are obviously other discussions you could have based simply on this little picture book, too! And, just about any book you find will lend itself to character building discussions!
One other thing I might mention… When I’m preparing for a character talk (or when one comes out of nowhere), I’ll browse through my copy of For Instruction in Righteousness. It prepares me with Bible verses, Bible stories and ideas to bring home the point on a huge number of “character flaws”. It’s been one of the most used book in my home! In fact, I’m planning to write a whole post on how I use this book as part of our values training later in this 10 Days series.
Some Great Resources
The following websites offer wonderful collections of character building literature:
You might find this large selection of Aesop’s Fables helpful since every story has an obvious moral to discuss with your children.
(Short fables like these are good for assignments, too, where you ask your child to develop her own moral or write/act out a new version where the character makes better decisions.)
The books in the widget below contain either book lists of great literature (with a moral) for all ages, or are collections themselves of literature selections.
I hope you’ll join me tomorrow as we discuss teaching values through service and leadership opportunities!
Be sure to visit these brilliant ladies during our 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th!
Welcome to Day 3 of my Heart of the Matter 10 Days of… Series about Teaching Values. Today’s topic focuses on one of the most important things (besides the Bible) we’ve added to our homeschooling schedule – Service Opportunities.
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Galatians 5:13-14
In our home, learning to serve plays a major role in values training. Of course, we train our children to serve one another in our home, but we’re also intentional in finding service opportunities outside the home. As soon as our children are able to take part in service activities, we get them involved! Helping to clean up after a co-op event, setting tables for a bereavement dinner at church and taking out the trash for grandma and grandpa are all simple to-do’s even for little ones.
{Serving at a local soup kitchen.}
As our kids get older, we actively seek opportunities to serve. Working at the soup kitchen, making meals for shut-ins with the youth group, and bagging groceries at the food pantry are some examples. Believe it or not, not once have my children complained about these times of work! Oh, they will complain quite often about chores around the house, school assignments, not having time to watch a favorite tv show, or how often one of them touches the other in the car!! But, there’s something magical about serving others outside the home that make us all very humble, eager and incredibly thankful for the blessing of serving others. Through these experiences, my children have also learned values such as empathy, acceptance and compassion. It’s truly beautiful to watch your children joyfully serve others.
{Making mop ponies for a children’s home for Christmas. K.E.E.P. Youth Council}
As my children have gotten older, I’ve found serving in leadership roles to promote values training just as well (in different ways) than the type of serving I was talking about above. My children (mostly my oldest – 9th grade – at this point) have been part of youth councils for various things like 4-H and the Kentucky Equine Education Project. They have attended leadership conferences for Christian youth and helped set-up our state’s annual homeschooling convention.
With each of these opportunities, I’ve watched my children mature. They’ve learned work ethic, respect, perseverance, cooperation, confidence and so much more. Not to mention, in each case they’ve made wonderful friends who share common goals.
{Bagging food at the local food pantry.}
Just where do you begin involving your children in service and leadership opportunities? Well, that answer depends very much on your child’s age and what is available in your area. I’ve created a list of ideas to get you started below.
Just for the record , I address the topics of service and leadership in my new book, Homeschooling the Gifted and Advanced Learner – Chapter 8 “What About Socialization?”, p 116! You certainly don’t need to have gifted children to participate in these wonderful experiences, though. ALL children benefit in such character building moments! What are you waiting for? Start thinking seriously about how you can incorporate more service time into your homeschool!
I’d love to hear what you’ve done in your homeschool to serve others!
Be sure to visit these sweet ladies during the 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th!
Welcome to Day 4 of my Heart of the Matter 10 Days of… Series on Teaching Values in your homeschool! Today I’ll be writing about how to build values through chores and jobs.
Chores
From the time my children can toddle, they get the pleasure of helping with chores around the house and around the farm. With every new responsibility comes wonderful new values. (Not to mention preparation for their futures!) Just some of the values I’ve seen molded in my children through chores include:
Ambition – taking the to-do’s seriously and doing them well
Commitment – knowing that chores must be done before other things
Diligence – sticking with chores even when they become frustrating
Confidence – knowing that “mom trusted me with this responsibility”
Cooperation – we often work together to accomplish various tasks
Joy – Yes, really! Not always, mind you, but there is deep joy and satisfaction in knowing a task has been completed. I bet you’ve felt joy when looking around your house after it’s had a deep cleaning, right? Same with kids!
There are OH SO MANY MORE values that could be included in this list – helpfulness, leadership, punctuality, obedience, strength, organization…
Whenever I write a post about chores, people always ask what chores my children are expected to do on a regular basis and at what age. That’s a hard question to answer because each one of my children has been ready to do different chores at different ages. So, instead of giving age-appropriate lists, I thought I’d make a chart of current chores my children are capable of.
Please note that only a few chores are ever scheduled at one time AND oftentimes the chores are supervised or the kids are the “helpers” rather than completely responsible.
Our current chore schedule looks something like this:
Every single day before breakfast ALL the kids must: make beds, brush teeth, get dressed, bring laundry to the laundry room, and straighten their rooms.
Monday-Friday everyone has an additional chore to work on at some point throughout the day. This might include straightening a closet, vacuuming under couch cushions, or weeding a flower bed. This chore rarely takes more than 15 minutes to complete.
Saturday morning is our deep cleaning time. We divvy up various chores to make sure the entire house is straightened and cleaned. If we’ve kept up with the basic chores the rest of the week, this deep cleaning usually takes less than 2 hours.
Jobs
Although we haven’t officially sent our children out into the work force, the older two have taken on various jobs for money. This summer, they mowed the neighbor’s yard once every two weeks. It was a very large yard and they used a push mower – they earned every single penny of their fee! They have also worked in the hay fields and cattle barns with their dad during the summer, and have been hired out for odd jobs by grandparents. With every new “job”, I watch the values mentioned above grow just a little more!
As a side note, I encourage my children when they come to me with a business idea. Besides being character builders, their businesses have been wonderful homeschooling activities. They have generated business concepts, created business cards, marketed themselves and earned money! With each new business, lessons are learned and the productivity gets a little better.
Chore Resources
I included these resources in my last 10 Days Series on Habit Training using the Charlotte Mason method, but I thought they might be beneficial in this post, too. I always create my own chore charts, but these would certainly save you time and effort!
Welcome back to my Heart of the Matter 10 Days of… Series on Teaching Values in your homeschool! One busy week is coming to a close, but one more week of practical advice still remains! Today I’m writing about instilling values in your children through heart-felt discipline.
I’ll be the first to admit that heartfelt discipline is not my strongest parenting skill. It’s way easier to demand a child stop doing something “because I said so” than it is to take time to reach the heart of why our family doesn’t act a certain way. It’s also easier to send everyone to timeout (for my sanity) than it is to stop everything for a family meeting to discuss what’s going on and what we can do to fix it.
Those things are easier, but they don’t ever build anything more in my children than thoughts that I’m too busy and too frustrated to care about their problems.
You know, I just said they are easier, but in reality they aren’t at all easier. They are easier for the moment – until I have to deal with the same behavior issue 20 more times this week (or this day!) Every single time I’ve taken the time to get to the heart of a discipline issue right away, it’s been nipped in the bud. In other words, there is no time for my children to form bad habits from my lazy discipline.
When I stop and get to the root of the behavior, I have the awesome opportunity to mold their hearts, minds and souls with values that are important to our family. I get to talk about what God expects from us and point them to the Word. I let them know that I really do care them!
And, usually, when I’m having a heart to heart discussion about behavior, I’m doing it with a much better attitude. This kind of discipline becomes my privilege rather than my frustration. It becomes a teaching opportunity rather than everyone waiting for the warts to start growing on my witch’s nose.
Just what do I do to get to the heart of the behavior? Different situations mean different approaches, but this is my general plan of action.
Get eye level with the child(ren) and ask what’s going on?
When I’m eye level, there is trust that I’m there to help rather than harshly discipline.
Talk about behavior that would have been better to choose in the same situation.
I usually ask, “What did you do that we need to talk about?” and “What could you have done differently?”
Talk about what God tells us in His Word about the positive behavior vs. the negative behavior.
If I don’t know off the top of my head what the Bible says, there are a couple of resources I use – For Instruction in Righteousness and Doorposts. (See below.)
Decide what needs to be done to fix the situation.
Sometimes, a simple apology is in order. Other times a consequence is in order. I try to match the consequence with the offense, at the same time allowing my older children to help decide the consequence. (See a few examples below.)
Two tried and true (and highly recommended) resources that have helped me understand the concept of discipline that reaches the heart are:
Two resources that have helped me bring the Word into my discipline are:
On Monday, I’ll be sharing the nitty-gritty of how I use For Instruction in Righteousness in our home. This is such a wonderful book!
You might like to read about our Peace Place, too.
Like I said, I have a lot of growing room in this area! I’ll be praying about and making a better effort to reach the heart of discipline in the days and weeks to come. How about you?
Be sure to visit these fantastic women during the 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th!
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, I address the topics of service and leadership in my new book, 
